The Hook and Lateral

**Updated Below**
Another NFL offseason and another Chris Henry arrest story. This time he has a warrant out for his arrest for punching an 18-year old guy and then throwing a beer bottle through his car window. To be such a talented wide receiver, this guy is one dumb son of a bitch. Recently, Henry’s managed to get arrested four times in the span of 14 months and was suspended by Roger Goodell for half of last season for….well, assign each behavioral problem to a card in a playing deck and then draw one.

As a matter of fact, even just last week Henry was cited for driving with expired license plates on his car. Ok, let me ask you this. You’ve been arrested four times in the last two years and ticketed for driving with a suspended license, for which the group of people paying you money is not very happy about. Wouldn’t you think you’d be as careful as you could possibly be? Hell, just don’t leave your house for a few years. Anything. Have a lawyer personally escort you around 24 hours a day telling you what is legal and what is illegal. That’s the solution that I am offering up to Chris Henry. Get a full-time chaperone.

But, wait, Henry says that that’s not how it happened at all. Well, he said that to his agent, Marvin Frazier:

The player’s agent, Marvin Frazier, said Henry gave him a different version of events but declined to elaborate.

“I was told it didn’t happen that way,” Frazier said.

So, I guess there’s still hope that this is one giant misunderstanding. Call me judgmental, but when a guy has had this many run-ins with the police, I tend to assume the worst after the umpteenth time.

Even though Chad Johnson says that he’s ready to show up to camp and “embarrass whoever tries to cover him,” the Bengals cannot possibly be ready to “move on without him” after their 3rd WR has just been issued a warrant for his arrest on assault charges. Oh boy, more problems for the Bengals. At least they didn’t get caught on a yacht full of naked prostitutes and sex toys.

**Update**
It looks like the Bengals have wisely chosen to cut its ties from Henry after his fifth arrest since 2005. Yahoo! Sports